The Supreme Court today further reduced the punitive damages against Exxon for the Valdez spill. The initial $5 billion judgment against Exxon has now been reduced to just over $1 billion, making attorney Walter Dellinger a $4 billion JD-brandishing superhero to big oil. Exxon profits were just under $4 billion per month in the first quarter of 2008.

1. Since when did wearing underwear become dangerous? Macrida Patterson, who is suing Victoria’s Secret, says she was hurt by a defective “low rise v-string” last May when a rhinestone came lose from the panties and hit her in the eye. Lawyer Jason Buccat, of the L.A. firm, Willoughby & Associates, said that a “design problem caused the decorative piece to come loose and strike Patterson in the eye, causing damage to her cornea.”

2. Every rose has it’s thorn

1. The rock band Motley Crüe is suing their former manager for swindling them out of money behind their backs. Crüe is represented by lawyers Louis Miller and A. Sasha Frid of the Los Angeles firm Miller Barondess, LLP. The band seeks unspecified damages and requests that Stein has no right to any commissions from their work. Stein should know better

1. Criminal defense attorney by day, rock star by night

The Seattle Post-Intelligencer has insightful commentary from Randy Aliment this morning on the vulnerabilities of both parties in the City of Seattle’s lawsuit against Clay Bennett’s Sonics:

From the city’s standpoint, forced occupation here is going to be a difficult proposition because the team would only be here two years, the NBA is going to be upset and the prospects for a team long-term are problematic,” Aliment said. “Some type of mediated solution where Bennett can take his toys back to Oklahoma and the city gets a different team, or Bennett gets a new team and we keep our Sonics, would obviously be the best.

1. Premier Exhibitions Inc. settled with the Attorney General of New York, Andrew Cuomo, this week, over their controversial “Bodies

1. “There’s an expression that somebody broke every bone in his body,” said attorney Mark Manus. “Well, this is pretty close.” He was referring to a fall his client took on the set of “The Little Mermaid”. Adrian Bailey fell

1. Lawyer Zafer Akin dealt with a turbulent case this week. His client Gokhan Mutlu is suing JetBlue after an unfortunate flight he took in February from San Diego to New York. He flew standby on a full flight and was told to go stay in the bathroom for the second half of the flight so the flight attendant could rest comfortably. “This is something you wouldn’t do to your worst enemy,” Akin said. “This is an outrage.” Mutlu is suing for $2 million.

2. Attorney David Mourick represents Robert Hezzelwood, better known as “Beach Bob”. Bob recently filed a lawsuit against the Lee County Sheriff’s Office for violating his civil rights. You see, Beach Bob received a “trespass warning” from the sheriff’s deputy. What does trespassing have to do with anything? The notice read “exposed scrotum” and “Never return to Bonita Beach Main Access”. Mourick said “It is a good case in that it showed these deputies can’t just go in there and trespass people just because they don’t like what they’re wearing.”

3. What would you do if you won the lotto? Probably hide it from your spouse. At least that’s what Arnim Ramdass did after he won the jackpot of $19 million. He split the winnings 16 ways with his coworkers and kept it a secret from his beloved. Yes, they are still married. When his wife, Donna Campbell, found out about his secret, she felt “emotionally drained and financially desperate”. She hired Attorney Bruce Baldwin to help her get what’s rightfully hers, half of the jackpot, as it was purchased with their marital assets. Ramdass is represented by Robert Puzio. The couple, who is still together, are staying in different sides of the house. Occasionally they run into each other, but they don’t interact.

4. Speaking of marital issues

1. Judge Sherman Ross presided over a bunch of potheads last week. In Texas a woman accused of possession of marijuana was on trial. A member of the jury took the case a little too seriously, as she was caught blazing a doobie outside the courthouse during a break. “I’ve had prospective jurors get lost before, but it never occurred to me that they might be getting ready for a marijuana trial by, allegedly, smoking marijuana,” Ross said.

2. Adidas Lawyer Paul Ehrlich is feeling pretty good this week. Payless Shoesource Inc. had to pay $304.6 million for infringing on Adidas America Inc.’s three-stripe trademark and shoe styles. This is believed to be the largest award in a trademark lawsuit. That’s 100 million for every stripe!

3. Everyone’s favorite ex-judge is back in the news

1. Uma Thurmans lawyer, George Vomvolakis said “Do you see how this could have scared her?” in court this week. He was referring to a strange card the actress received from a stalker. “I was completely freaked out,” Thurman said of the drawing, which was on a religious confirmation card. One of the pictures in the card was of a bride with her head torn off. Jackson William Leslie Jordan was charged with stalking and aggravated harassment, and faces up to a year in jail, if convicted. He claimed that “in a misguided way I was trying to give her an opportunity to meet me and give myself an opportunity to meet her.” Maybe he should have just tried myspace.

2. Lawyer Blair Berk has her hands full with client Lindsay Lohan. A full page ad in USA Today from interlockfacts.com used Lohan’s mug shot to promote drinking and driving responsibly without the help of interlock ignition devices. Lindsay has her lawyers looking into whether or not the ad violates trademark laws. Berk had this to say, “Drunk, old, white businessmen, drunk cougars out for girls night out, and drunk wedding parties should be kept off the roads of America. Lindsay Lohan fully endorses ignition interlock devices that have been well-proven to save lives”.

3. Judge Richard Berman thew out a case against Jennifer Lopez this week. Jack Bunick, a television writer, claimed J-Lo stole his idea for a TV series. The show “South Beach”, which aired in 2006, was too similar to a series pilot he wrote in 1999 called “South Beach Miami”. Berman said there was inadequate evidence to take the case to trial. The lawsuit named UPN and CBS Television as well as Jenny from the block.

4. A shocking video was released this week of a courtroom attack in which defendant Victor Wright lunges at attorney Carolyn Pokorney. Apparently Wright, who was on trial for drug dealing, hid a razor blade in a body cavity. In the video you can see how all the other lawyers and law professionals jump to pull Wright off Pokorney. Except for the judge who simply gets up and exits the Brooklyn courtroom.