The Inner Child of (at least some) Litigators
My first year of being a lawyer, I did securities litigation defense and really didn’t like it. Why? For starters, I wanted to be a transactional lawyer from the beginning; but in the early nineties corporate law departments were still waiting out the junk-bond hangover of the late eighties. So, I took a job in a securities-related area that was doing well (as there were a whole lotta lawsuits stemming from the high-flying eighties), and considered myself lucky to have a job. It was a dynamic similar to today’s legal market, although probably (and sadly) less severe.
In that first year, I loved digging into the mechanics of a disputed deal and understanding what went wrong; but the never-ending coup-counting between opposing litigation teams was more than I could stomach. Even in my mid-twenties, I found myself often saying, “This is so childish,” as I watched one-too-many lawyers engaging in less-than-civil procedure.
As a junior lawyer, I typically watched these tussles from the sidelines; but maybe that gave me the best perspective. And, although I encountered many talented and respectful lawyers on the other side, I saw just enough of the dark side for me to take the first transactional offer that came my way.
Because I have many friends who really enjoy being litigators, I have often thought, “It was probably just me.” However, every so often I am reminded that I made the right move (for me). This often happened when I would get litigation reports as a general counsel or when one of my litigation-loving friends went off to be a sherpa.
However, one of my more-poignant reminders showed up in my inbox the other day. It was an order, sent to me by my uncle who is a judge. It reads in part:
“Greetings and Salutations!
You are invited to a kindergarten party on THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 1, 2011, at 10:00 a.m. in Courtroom 2 of the United States Courthouse, 200 W. Eighth Street, Austin, Texas.
The party will feature many exciting and informative lessons, including:
- How to telephone and communicate with a lawyer
- How to enter into reasonable agreements about deposition dates
- How to limit depositions to reasonable subject matter
- Why it is neither cute nor clever to attempt to quash a subpoena for technical failures of service when notice is reasonably given; and
- An advanced seminar on not wasting the time of a busy federal judge and his staff because you are unable to practice law at the level of a first year law student.
Invitation to this exclusive event is not RSVP. Please remember to bring a sack lunch! The United States Marshals have beds available if necessary, so you may wish to bring a toothbrush in case the party runs late.”
Upon opening it, I laughed out loud and thought, “Geez, I wish we had that judge in 1992.” With a little research, I found that the order’s author, Judge Sparks, has a history of calling out the dark side — often using dripping sarcasm as his light saber.
All I can say is keep up the good work Judge Sparks. The litigation world needs more judges like you.
Be civil.
