Law is a Jealous Mistress
During law school, a practicing lawyer told me that “Law is a jealous mistress.” I found this clever until I heard it another 100+ times from lawyers who were either shooting their “free” time or shooting mine. But with a couple of years practicing under my belt, I realized that “The Law” had nothing to with our collective pain – it was the jealous clients. Law was but a residence for my client concubine – a jealous lot that never wanted to know others existed and uncannily needed my attention most when I was in the arms of another.
I came to understand the stress of a philanderer. Every time I was satisfying the needs of one client, inevitably another would call needing an emotional rescue. When it rained it poured – a juggling act often requiring 2, 3, 4 flaming swords in the air at once. It was as if there was a Batman-like light in the sky, telling all clients to call their attorney. So many times, buried in work and lack of sleep, I sat looking at a ringing phone wondering whether I should pick it up. This wonderment was often accompanied by regret that I had yet to buy that cot for my office.
Don’t get me wrong, I loved the idea of my clients calling. But too much of any good thing can be tough. And making things tougher was the jealous nature of the situation. Clients that have already paid you for hundreds of hours at hundreds per hour tend to be a bit possessive. You are theirs, and when their world is on fire, they have no interest in hearing about your other dalliances. In fact, they don’t even want to know they exist.
And lawyers perpetuate this jealousy by pretending – due to firm culture or intuition – that no other client exists. You pick up the phone and whisper sweet nothings because another beau is only a phone call away. And most likely that beau has called on your jealous mistress at least once in the last couple of months. The horror.
The result is a quartering of sorts. While trying to be the “one” for multiple clients, the lawyer is often pulled in so many directions that their demise is almost assured. In an attempt to keep the client, they often end up disappointing the client and losing them in whole or part.
Take a look at my most recent Avvocating article where I offer some pointers on how to communicate and ultimately keep your clients. No need to be quartered . . . just communicative.
September 27th, 2010 at 12:57 pm
This made me LAUGH. Very clever; very funny, mostly because it’s very true!
November 29th, 2010 at 3:06 am
[...] say that the law is a jealous mistress. What they don’t say is that running a solo law practice can be like being involved in a [...]